I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
