help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
