Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
