JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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