I hope mine doesn't look like that
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
