i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
