I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
