remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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