I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
