Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize