Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
