I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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