Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
