Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
