I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
