I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize