And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Do vagina's smell?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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