I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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