i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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