she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
