my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
