we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
