I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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