At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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