So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
