i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She just used a chaser for red wine.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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