I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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