I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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