ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
