dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
