I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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