when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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