i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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