I'm laying in your front yard are you home
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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