Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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