if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
