He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
