ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
