Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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