GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
