nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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