the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I touched a dick in church today
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
