Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
