How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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