she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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