The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
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