Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
