idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
