Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Never joke about your clitoris.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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