new low.... made out with someone while peeing
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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