fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it's like iHOP with fire
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
