He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
sarcasm needs its own font
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize