First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He? As in you personified your dick?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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