im drinking this country out of the recession.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
