Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
