nut hugger
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
