my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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